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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Zombie Tony Blair's LiveJournal:

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Friday, November 28th, 2008
11:42 am
The feast was a big let down. The company was decent, but the food wasn't that great. How do you mess up stuffing, for God's sake?
Friday, November 21st, 2008
12:37 pm
Because I have other things to do.
For the record, the Martial Power Sourcebook is sexy. It is currently residing in my pants. That is where it goes from now on.

Just to prove Mousse wrong
1. Do you like blue cheese?

2. Do you own a gun? A shotgun? or rifle?
No, but I am an NRA Marksman First Class.

3. What flavor of Kool Aid was your favorite as a kid?
Didn't drink Kool Aid

4. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?

5. What do you think of hot dogs?
Sausages and Brauts are better.

6. Favorite Christmas Movie?
How Kiss Saved Santa.

7. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?

8. Can you do push-ups?
Some, I need to exercise more.

9. What is your favorite piece of jewelry?
My Father's watch.

10. Favorite hobby?

11. Do you have A.D.D.?
Yes, officially diagnosed.

12. What trait you hate about yourself?
Sometimes I'm just too awesome.

13. Middle name?

14. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?
"I should have gone shopping last night so I would have more for lunch than cheezits and pretzels."
"My opinion of unions has improved since they negotiated me a $3.00 raise."
"These pretzels are making me thirsty."

15. Name 3 drinks you drink regularly?
Water, Diet Pepsi.

16. Current worry at the moment?
How to reduce the number of players in my DnD game without hurting anyone's feelings.

17. Current hate right now?
A tie between "loud noises" and "things being under other things".

18. Favorite place to be?

19. How did you bring in the New Year?
I think I was watching TV at my Mom's house.

20. Where would you like to go on vacation?
Prolly California?

21. Name three people who WILL complete this?
Death First.

22. Do you own slippers?

23. What shirt are you wearing?
A tee shirt covered by a hoodie. God bless lax dress codes.

24. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?
It sounds nice in theory

25. Can you whistle?

26. Favorite colors?
Yellow and Pink.

27. Would you be a pirate?
Yes. Heart heart sailing.

28. What songs do you sing in the shower?
Recently it's been the Pirate Song. Because part of being a pirate is not having all your parts.

29. Favorite girl's name?

30. Favorite boy's name?

31. What's in your pocket right now?
My wallet, keys, cell phones, comb, lighter, and checkbook.

32. Last thing that made you laugh?
Jamie choking Lucas last night. Violence is comic gold.

33. Best bed sheets as a child?
I never had cool bed sheets

34. Worst injury you've ever had?
Very slightly twisted my ankle once.

35. Do you love where you live?

36. How many TVs do you have in your house?

37. Who is your loudest friend?

38. How many dogs or cats do you have?
1, and roommates have one, and a bunny.

39. Does someone have a crush on you?
Wouldn't knowing about it defeat the purpose?

40. Who is your favorite author?
Ursala LeGuinne.

41. What is your favorite candy?
Dark Chocolate covered almonds.

42. Favorite Sports Team?

43. Do you like your job?
No, but I like money.

44. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?

45. Where did you go on your last vacation?
Thursday, November 13th, 2008
2:58 pm
Writer's Block: Nature Gone Wild
Field mice always sleep facing northwest. Kangaroos can't walk backwards. Female hyenas have penises. Let's face it, nature is weird. What's the strangest thing you know about the animal kingdom?

This is the third time in two days that I've heard mention of female hyena peni. Seriously, wtf.
Friday, November 7th, 2008
8:08 am
Writer's Block: Revolutionary Thought
It's the anniversary of the Russian Revolution, marking the Marxist overthrow of the Russian government. Karl Marx once wrote that "religion is the opium of the people." What is the new opium of the people?

Monday, October 20th, 2008
12:11 pm
TeeVees and More
So in the new apartment there is a big flat screen TV, Super Cable, and a PS3. What shows/games should I be watching/playing. Keep in mind that I have been out of the current tv/video game loop for a long, long time. And I haven't played any PS 2 games except FF12 which I'm playing right now. Although with all the AI in that game it's more like just moving characters around while they play the game instead of me.
Thursday, October 2nd, 2008
5:43 pm
More Real Content
* Grab the nearest book.
* Open the book to page 56.
* Find the fifth sentence.
* Post the text of the next two to five sentences in your journal along with these instructions.
* Don't dig for your favorite book, the cool book, or the intellectual one: pick the CLOSEST

The key eventually leads the characters possessing it to a secret door, at which point the key beings to glow with a faint blue light. The character feels a magnetic tug toward the wall and can either guide the key to the keyhole or merely release the kay, which causes it to shoot like a dart into the stone wall. Once the key connects with the wall, a secret dooropens, revealing a passage. The key can the be removed from the wall, causing the secret door to slide shut after 15 seconds.

Thunderspire Labyrinth Adventure Book Two
Wednesday, October 1st, 2008
5:26 pm
Kitty Updates
So I'm mostly moved in now. I took Morte over on monday. As expected, the cat living there wasn't too pleased. They hissed at each other a lot as we forced them to socalize. Morte didn't his at all at first, but when I made him look at the other cat and not just pretend she wasn't there he managed to summon up some courage. Then he ran and hid under the couch.

Now the other cat hids a lot and hisses at everyone.

It's cute, though, the other cat is long haired, white and fluffy and morte is short haired and all black, so it's basically Ceiling Cat vs Basement Cat. My new roommate is convinced that they are having a secret love affair at night and are just putting on airs for the rest of us.

Mortes doing very well, though. He lets my room mate pet him and only spends most of the time hiding under my bed. At night he even comes up on top of the bed and looks out the window. He's such a brave kitty.

He is also thoroughly commited to kicking litter everywhere. Normally with an open litter pan he gets it everywher, but since the new place is carpeted, and the only real place for the pan is my room, I got a cover for it with a little swinging door. Last night he was kicking litter so vigorously that it woke me up, and there is litter all over the floor right outside the little swinging door. I gotta get a dust buster or something.

Work is still pain, but at least the damages from this year's God Storm are all repaired now. We were without power for 8 days, but some people were a good 13. And let me tell you, they were just thrilled about it, but only very rarely called in to let the power company know how they felt.

I've been so stressed out recently that I've started to get migraines when I exert myself. This would be only a mild inconvience if I wasn't moving. And apparently some more embarassing activities count as exertion to my noggin. This might very well cause me to go insane sometime in the near future.

Finally, I have cartoon network back in my life. I know I shouldn't be this wrapped up in television, but getting to watch the Venture Brothers and Home Movies last night made me really happy. It's been more than two years without. Apparently they don't show much anime anymore, which is lame, and for some reason the people who used to make Tom Goes to the Mayor somehow still have jobs. But full Cable on a big flat screen TV makes John happy. God bless roommates with nice things I can leach off of.

And I paid rent last night. I actually live there now, and not in my mother's house anymore. And soon I won't be living out of boxes and suitcases.

Gotta go. DnD tonight.
Saturday, September 27th, 2008
1:44 pm
Real Content
I'm moving out of my parents house this week, into an apartment with a couple that is of my age and education level and likes the same things I like. And they have nice things, like cable and a flatscreen TV and PS3.

And now for something completely relevant

[1] Under what circumstances would you be willing to attempt to assassinate the political leader of your country?

Maybe if it was some kind of evil robot overlord

[2] Who do you think would make a better US president: Hitler or Stalin? (You can't say neither... in this world it's illegal for you to not vote)
Stalin. I personally know less about the horrible attrocities he commited.

[3] If you had to bomb one city, anywhere in the world, which would you pick? (Picking none is not an option for this question.)
Indianapolis. It is the shithole of the world.

[4] Is there ever a good reason for terrorism?
Only when used to combat evil robot overlords.

[5] If there existed an infallible robot of super-human intelligence, would you vote for it as president of the world?
No. All robots are evil and hate mankind, and I will not assist in their plans to take over the world

[6] Under what circumstances would you agree to have your country's army disbanded?
Magical World Peace?

[7] When cloning technology is perfected, do you think war should be fought with clones?
Clones are people too. They just have to pay.

[8] What's more immoral, stealing to feed your children or working for an arms manufacturer?
Arms Manufacturing.

[9] Should there be shame in being on welfare or other forms of state benefits?
Depends on the situation. If you can support yourself but choose not to, then yes.

[10] If you were homeless and could get no help from government, would it be wrong to set up a home (tent/house/whatever) on land protected for environmental reasons? If you did, who would be culpable, you or government?
Yes, and you.

[11] Should people need a license to have children?
There are some people who should not be allowed to breed. Maybe not licenses for all, but maybe life bans for some.

[12] Should anyone ever be forced to have an abortion, and under what circumstances?

[13] Do you think it's fair that rent can be upped if you have pets but not if you have children?

[14] Should corporal punishment, with parental permission, be reintroduced in schools?
Sure, why not.

[15] Given that fast food is more harmful to your health than marijuana, should it be banned?
There should be regulations on it's nutritional value. Selling poison and calling it food should not be allowed.

[16] Do you think it's okay for companies to run drug tests for jobs which don't involve operating heavy or dangerous machinery?

[17] Are people who say they love animals but eat factory farmed meat hypocrites?
No. I may love animals, but that doesn't mean I love all animals ever.

[18] Under what circumstances would you be willing to consume human flesh?
Uhhh. If it was life or death, maybe.

[19] Are all (post-natal) human lives equal in value/worth?
No. The people I care about are worth more than other people.

[20] If communication was developed with an animal sufficient that they could communicate consent, would it be wrong to have consensual sex with the animal?
No. Most animals are completely at the whims of overwhelming hormonal and instrinctual drives. It would be similar to having sex with a child who didn't know any better.

[21] What do you think the age of sexual consent should be?

[22] Do you think porn that contains hyper-realistic depictions of children (modelled, painted, etc) should be legally regarded as the same as real-child porn?
Yeah, sure.

[23] If you had to burn one book, what book would you pick?
Moby Dick

[24] Would you burn a cross whilst dressed in white robes for a million dollars?
Maybe. I do like money.

[25] Should time travel, if it ever becomes a reality, be legal given all the risks it poses to life as we know it?
No. Spinning the Earth backwards would make everyone go flying off into space.

[26] If you had an envelope containing absolute proof of the existence or non-existence of any deity of your choice, would you open it?
No. Faith is defined by a lack of proof.

[27] Should suicide be legal/acceptable for long-term debilitating / emotionally painful incurable mental illnesses? Does your answer to this differ from your answer to the same question with regards to painful, debilitating physical illnesses?
Friday, August 22nd, 2008
2:39 pm
I had forgotten how much I like Sleater Kinney
Tuesday, August 5th, 2008
2:32 pm
ZTB's guide to phone edakit (and spelling)
Following these three simple rules when conducting business over the phone will vastly decrease your chances of being stabbed in the fucking eye.

1. Asking how someone is doing is mere pleasantry. The correct answer is "I'm doing fine, how are you?" The correct response to this further querry is also "I'm doing fine." It is not an excuse to say "I'm not doing fine and it's your fault."

2. When someone asks if there is anything else you need, don't say something idoitic like "How about a million dollars." or "You could pay my bill for me."

3. Do not have your phone set up so that person you are talking to hears feedback of what they just said a second after they actually say it. This can cause headaches and homocidal rage.
Thursday, July 31st, 2008
8:32 am
I just watched the Big Lebowski on TV last night. It was really good.

Now, I am 100% certain I watched that movie in High School at my friend Patrick's house. I distinctly remember doing it. Thing is, instead remembering the actual contents of the movie, my brain invented entirely new contents of the movie, including an ending where The Dude gets into a bowling match to clear himself of all the money people think he owes them. The whole "double or nothing" kind of deal. In the version of the movie I apparently completely made up, there were definitly no musical numbers, which were my favorite part of the real movie.

Am I just getting this movie confused with another slacker/bowling themed movie? Or am I completely fucking nuts?
Monday, June 23rd, 2008
8:37 am
In the last couple weeks I've caught up on some movies I've been meaning to see. Namely 300, Spiderman 3, and Sweeny Todd.

300 was good, as expected.

Spiderman 3 was so-so. I liked the evil peter parker montage, except for the dancing on tables, that was dumb.

Sweeny Todd was bliss. I especially liked the ending, which wrapped things up in manner I approve of, with no loose ends and society reasserting itself.
Monday, June 16th, 2008
12:09 pm
Also An Update
So I ran my first session of DnD 4th Ed last night. It was a blast.

In an 8 hour session we managed to:
Create 3 characters from scratch.
Have the PC's wander around town, get some quest info, RP, and meet each other.
Complete a Dungeon including 5 combats.

It was fun for all, including a players girlfriend who had never played before. I was dreading this, because these situation usually end up with the new player confused and bored off their ass, but she had fun and was able to understand what her character could do and get into the roleplaying.

In all, the game was quicker and everyone could meaningful contribute. Even the player who was being all mopey about there being a new edition managed to get into it by the end. Aparently the new flaming sphere kicks all maner of kobold ass.
Tuesday, June 3rd, 2008
2:08 pm
Interesting Fact
Friday Night


Suprising number of hotties.
Monday, May 26th, 2008
3:39 pm
I ams Culture-ed
I just started reading "Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell" by Susanna Clarke.

It is quite good. If you haven't read this yet, Ade, you should.
Saturday, May 24th, 2008
11:42 pm
More Muzaks
The song I referenced in my earlier post is "Salute Your Salution" by the Rancontuers
Friday, May 23rd, 2008
5:06 pm
Distilled Nerditude
Is anyone interested in playing in a 4th edition DnD game when the core rules come out next month? Using the new online tools they have available. I think eventually we would have to pay for a subscription, but I'm pretty sure there is a trial period for at least a month or two where we can try it out.

I miss hanging out with my buddies and while this wouldn't be the same, it would allow us to stay in touch and have fun. We could schedule a weekly game time. I'd be willing to run the published adventuer "Keep on the Shadowfell", so if you're interested, don't peek. I'd be looking for 5 people.

If you're interested at all, let me know.
Thursday, May 22nd, 2008
9:29 am
I just heard a new Single by the Rancontuers on the radio this morning. It was pretty good, especially considering I'm not terribly fond of them.
Tuesday, May 20th, 2008
5:07 pm
Because I happened to think of it
You know how I've always been confused about the "Polar Express" movie? How they could possible make that short ass book into a feature length film. I've joked about how there must be a murder mystery on the way to the North Pole.

We'll over the Christmas holidays last year I caught part of it on network TV. Apparently there is the ghost of a hobo living on the roof of the Polar Express train. I guess I wasn't that far off.
12:26 pm
The other day I was flipping through the channels and caught a bit of some X-files episode or movie or something. This guy was telling Mulder how FEMA was really the secret government of the country, crafting a fake disaster so they could sweep in and control the country.

It seems that theory was a bit wrong.
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